Fall out of love.

as a perfum doth remain,

in the folds where it hath lain,

so the thought of you, remaining

deeply folding in my brain,

will not leave me, all things leave me,

you remain.

-arthur symons

my fear of rejection leaves me trembling upon the door, the door where the truth would be unfold, truth to be told, nothing but the truth. I want to see it, to know it, yet I'm still here. Hesitating, unsure and most of all afraid, afraid of the ugly truth. It is a fact that if I had to choose between a beautiful lie and an ugly truth, it's much better to pretend, and take the beautiful one, because for one, it won't hurt you as much as the other.

I told them all the great things I know about you and there were a lot. I was up there for a while. I didn't tell them everything, though. I left out the complicated stuff, like how it took losing you forever for me to truly find you. And how finding you turned me into someone else entirely. That's not what they came for. People want to hear you were great. Not that were great, but also, sometimes, not so great. They want to know I miss you. Not that while I've been missing you, I've fallen for someone else. It's weird, though. I feel like the only one who would understand this is you. In a way, that makes sense. He was the one person you were yourself around. Of course he'd be that same person for me. Anyway, I left all that out and I kept it simple. I told them I loved you and that's the truth.

-Gray, Catch and Release

is it better to love and lost then not to love at all? today is all about losing, let me rephrase that, this weekend is all about losing, missing. Yesterday was missing, obviously. So let me tell you about today, it's Catch and Release and Ghost. Both about losing, and gaining. not in the mood of explaining, just feel like saying these. Anyway, I think I'm on drugs, might as well be. Bye.





most annoying blogger isn't that sober

finally got the book from Hum which Ive been waiting patiently for yesterday. (ok, i know I said i'm going to eat the cake, but i'm not actually in the mood) since I've already read 2 of it, she only had to bring 4, she wanted to, but Aunty Moza said just bring 3 first. So she did. And so I finished all of them already. I finished up two books in one day, definitely breaking my previous record. Anyway, My favourite was the Julie Cohen's. Funny, but a bit cliche. Out of Fashion is goood, for a serious take. Keeping Kate is ok-ok. Anyway, I told Hum not to bring her book The Bacholerette Party because she said it was quite dirty, but now I regret it. Because when I check out little black dress's website, it said that the author was co writer for Legally Blonde and 10 things i hate about you. You see why I'm regretting? No point now. I can still ask Hum to bring it for me on Monday. Oh, and a depressing news, LBD doesn't republish Rachel Gibson's See Jane Score, and I was so looking forward about that book because its so interesting, even the excerpt gives me the goosebumps. But the trouble with valentine day also looks interesting, the excerpt also is nice, so I'm checking that out. especially since it's going to be cheap. I'm dying for books. I'm getting bored more and more each day. Ok. I'm so not going to whine about my boredom on a blog which people barely read.

Toodles

most annoying blogger ever wants to remain anonymous( yeah right)

hey, what are you listening to? Im swooning over Josh Kelley. If Erics head over heels for Katharine, I'm that way with her husband. God, I know him before but Ive never heard his songs, regretful. it was totally breathtaking. Found two good websites on music;
www.hollywoodrecords.go.com for tv/movie soundtracks
www.virginrecords.com newest acts oh smthg lke that

but nothing beats yahoo or google.

Oh, get this. Microsoft is planning on buying Yahoo! I know, get real. But that's what they said on news today. Also that there's a new burger shop in town, I cnt remember the name. Oh, on the way back from kubur today, I saw this BUJET BOOKSHOP near Adlin's place, soo gonna check it out one day. Check out Imogen Heap's website, like so cool. Oh, I couldnt sign in to Blogger before, I was stuck on its homepage. So I decided to click on anyone's blog, you know at the corner where they show you who just updated their blog. Yeah, that one. And found this totally good one, he's someone from Portugal. I dont know, but totally cuteeee. And he has good taste in music too. I get a feeling he likes Maroon 5 since his blog title is "Wake_upcall"

ok, that's all for now. I'm off eating the cake which shouldnt even be here in the first place.

I need time, I need time to stop, either that or more time. Because I'm not ready, for whatever god is testing me with, I'm not ready. There's a cake in the fridge right now, seriously. There's a cake but no one to celebrate about. Is it obvious why I need time? Or time to stop. Stop now, because I couldnt bear starting a new first, I don't want last year to be the last. I want to always see your face in the morning, when I hug you and whisper to your ears "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

* you can call me emotional, but when I listen to the words Nora says, the only thought that occured to me was "you'll never say that." Some might already heard it, the others can still hope. I can't. It's vanished, pooof. You took it away, when you left, when you're gone, you took it with you..

tieqqa

most annoying blogger ever is now frustrated