Just another Heartbeat

been away for awhile now. okay, how've u been? i'm tangled up in this chaotic and demanding life. my previous posts are depressing? yeah. Fatin said that too. Even Daddy read it and told me I am one miserable teenager. Mood swings, so they say? I don't wanna live. I don't wanna wake up in the morning and remember everything that I have to do. Those tears I cry wasn't for everything I did, it was for everything I had to live with, this is life and no matter where I am, no matter what I do, I'd still get up and see it flashing in front of my eyes. These past few years have been the hardest, without you, I said I can't imagine, now I can, it's the worst nightmare ever. OH FUCK. ever had that feeling? where you wake up and you feel like pulling the cover back again and sleep in your fairytale but you can't because you cant dissapoint them, you care so much about them you never took the time to remember why you're here, who you are and most of all WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN? WHAT DO YOU STAND AGAINST? i'm nothing but clueless, everything but perfect and the one that kept me going, someone with you.