I Will Not Hold You Back

It wasn’t a victory after all.
It wasn’t an echo after all.
It was as real, as a week ago –
I just hadn’t had the time to notice.
And thus I fell again,
As I always will;
Forever and ever.

~ayvia

I know, that the best thing for me right now is to NOT take the PMR result. Its one thing to be self conscious and its another when everyone surrounds you the moment your dreams, your expectations, your hopes shattered to the ground. Everything matters. Your expression, your voice. I am not good at pretending as I am at hiding which is why I find NOT taking the result a better option than to take it. And its not like that big of a deal because I didn't even went to take my UPSR's and only to find out about it 3 days after the result was out. It can be a bit frustrating, of course especially when you have a cousin who asks you about it every 5 minutes. Seriously. Wake up. "Tiqa, how many A?" walk to the toilet. "Tiqa, how's your UPSR?" In the shower. "Tiqa, who's going to tell you your result?" Out of the shower. "Hi! How many A?" Walk to the kitchen. "Is your result out yet?" Munchs on sandwich. "TIQA!! Do you want to know what you'll get?" (you get the point right?) and this is also the cousin who is so confident that I will gain 8A's. I am not really afraid of my hopes to crash but I am more afraid of dissapointing others. Because I feel like I have dissapointed so many in these past 3 years what with my terrible exam result and my un-activeness on corriculum activities. I know I am a failure. A constant failure.


but I have to overcome these fears and let the worst take me in because if you know where you are standing, things will only get better right?

After all, the best way out is always through.






We'll fall in Waterpak,

TIQA